By Karen Huang, Contributing Reporter
LOS ANGELES -- Comedian Daniel Tosh was arrested early Wednesday morning outside his moderately overpriced Los Angeles home after authorities were notified that the comedian allegedly murdered an innocent joke on national television. The incident happened at approximately 10:32 E.T. Tuesday night, during an airing of the latest episode of his show, Tosh.0. Tosh opened his show by displaying a large white woman in a thong, and joked that he was not quite sure what African-American men saw in such women. The incident marked the 10th time in the show’s three year history that Tosh had played the “black men love fat white women” card, and Los Angeles authorities have had enough.
The joke was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and pronounced dead shortly after the show. Condolences were issued by a number of comedians when the news broke over Twitter. Comedian Chris Rock responded to the news by tweeting, “God dammit. That was my whole bit.”
The joke was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and pronounced dead shortly after the show. Condolences were issued by a number of comedians when the news broke over Twitter. Comedian Chris Rock responded to the news by tweeting, “God dammit. That was my whole bit.”
The joke’s untimely death will not be mourned by all, however, as there is a large contingent of black men who have asked comedians to refrain from drawing attention to their large, ugly, white girlfriends since the 1970’s. Jamal Washington, the Solicitor’s expert on bi-racial coitus, explained that comedians have been attracting attention to black men's “side-chicks” for some time.
“For real, your average dude on the block already got a girl– a real girl. When you see us with some white chicken head our main chick don’t know, and we like it that way. Shit, that fuck [Tosh] been blowin’ my spot up for a minute now,” Washington said in a carefully worded email.
“For real, your average dude on the block already got a girl– a real girl. When you see us with some white chicken head our main chick don’t know, and we like it that way. Shit, that fuck [Tosh] been blowin’ my spot up for a minute now,” Washington said in a carefully worded email.
Los Angeles County D.A., Steve Cooley spoke to the press outside City Hall Wednesday morning and emphasized that Tosh had demonstrated that he had no real appreciation for the gravity of his crime.
"It has been funny to make fun of black men and fat, white women for over 350 years, and now we’ll have to go back to making fun of black men for failing to pay child support, or showing up late to work, or using Boost Mobile. Tosh has repeatedly shown little interest in preserving this joke’s integrity, and we plan to prosecute that ass-fuck to the fullest extent.”
Tosh is being held at the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, and despite his successful tour and TV show he does not have the required $750,000 to post bail. The comedian will likely make a plea deal with the District Attorney in exchange for information on the name and address of the ass-wipe of a hack who writes for Norm McDonald.
"It has been funny to make fun of black men and fat, white women for over 350 years, and now we’ll have to go back to making fun of black men for failing to pay child support, or showing up late to work, or using Boost Mobile. Tosh has repeatedly shown little interest in preserving this joke’s integrity, and we plan to prosecute that ass-fuck to the fullest extent.”
Tosh is being held at the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, and despite his successful tour and TV show he does not have the required $750,000 to post bail. The comedian will likely make a plea deal with the District Attorney in exchange for information on the name and address of the ass-wipe of a hack who writes for Norm McDonald.
