JERSEY CITY, NJ -- A Hudson County jury has handed down one of the largest strip-club related verdicts of 2011 after awarding James McManaman, of Bridgewater, NJ, $6 million dollars last week. McManaman alleged that the defendant, Litter Box Entertainment Co., failed to follow the common strip club practice of prohibiting sex in the establishment. McManaman contracted herpes in the course of receiving fellatio from a dancer in the club's champagne room. Allen Carver, McManaman's counsel has cited numerous examples of the ban on champagne room-sex including national health and sanitation laws, a 1999 song by comedian Chris Rock, and a bill by the State legislature dating from 1804 known as the Stank-Ass Wench Act.
Owner, and all around Jersey douche, Andrew D'Orio complained that the verdict was highly prejudicial and biased against dishonest women making a barely socially acceptable living. "That Chris Rock song is more like a suggestion. Besides, every other club in this filthy fuckin' city lets that shit happen. Shit, we're the only club that checks our dancers' I.D.'s."
Carver told the Solicitor, that if the club simply followed the policy his client would not have herpes. "At worst he would have gotten the clap, which they can cure. Look, they know the damn Chris Rock song -- everybody saw the video. We all know the dangers of sex in the champagne room, like losing track of time, wanting to leave your wife, and contracting herpes from a 16 year old Brazilian girl who promised you two lapdances for 15 bucks." Carver concluded his rousing closing argument saying that he had proof that they not only allowed sex in the champagne room, but D'Orio allowed strippers give birth on the buffet table after lunch was over. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that's some stank-ass shit."
